2013年7月13日 星期六

巴夏 把生氣和憤怒當做一次校準和融合的機會

你知道心理學家怎麼談論它嗎?
或者說,那理論是說,你挑選那人,而那人就好像是你的一面鏡子在反射你。 這說法對嗎?
 
嗯,那麼說,我精挑細選了這傢伙來發火。
是的。

可她是我的女友啊,而且我和她共同生活,並且我總是看到我在發火,大發雷霆。
於是我持續不斷的,對我自己說,"好啦,這事帶給我什麼呢?我能從這事上去領悟什麼,
換句話說,總在發火,是我不想在我自己內在裡去審視我自己嗎? "
我盡力專心的去找這些事情的全部答案。 我問我自己,但我不能領悟.....
我能打斷你一下嗎? "反射"不一定是完全照字面意思的。
"你吸引到你生活中的個體們"這個概念, 是在反射你的想法念頭給你,
並不一定意味著,你正在做什麼是一個完全字面意義上"反射"著你正在做的某些事。
這僅僅是一個機會讓你去認清,在不同的層面上,以不同的路徑方式,
你可能正在服務於他們,並且他們可能也正在服務著你。
那不是說,它只能必須是作為一個單方向的"一對一"的反射。
 
那你如何分辨這其中的不同和差別?
你很容易明白,因為已經被表達展現了,那時如果你沒能找出一對一反射的是什麼,
那你就隨之開始搜索所有的不同層面。

好的,我明白你正說的所指了,但是我只注意到不管那情形局面是怎樣的,
我在早上醒來並且說,"好啦,我打算更有耐性更能接納。"
更有耐性?

是啊。
 
B: Patient? Why do you need to be patient?
耐性? 為什麼你必須有耐性?
 
Q: Because I feel like I'm going to be angry.
因為我覺得我好像總是要發火。
 
B: Do you think that patience is going to relieve any of the strain that you feel?
你認為,那忍耐可以解除你感覺上的緊張嗎?
 
Q: No, because it doesn't work.
沒,因為它根本沒用。
 
B: Correct. Understand, you are only impatient because you think you need
patience. Living in the moment and enjoying everything you are in any given
moment makes you enjoy your life far too much to have to be patient.
Patience says that you are not enjoying what you are.
 
這就對嘍。 要弄明白,只因為你容易發火,所以你才認為你必須忍住。
活在你的每一此刻,享受在,你所投入進去的每一件事情,
並且在每一個此刻,讓你自己都沉浸在,對生活的欣賞裡,
要遠遠超過,強調忍耐,似乎生活都變成了必須忍耐。
忍耐在告訴你,你不喜歡"你所是的你"......,
.....對於"你是什麼",你沒在欣賞和喜愛著。
 
Q: Well, sometimes I feel that I don't want to enjoy being in an anger mode, because…
好吧,有時候,我感覺,我真不想去沉浸在一個憤怒的發火的狀態,因為.....
 
B: Nobody says you have to be.
沒人說你必須那樣。
 
Q: All right, well just let me finish my statement.
好的,嗯,就讓我把我想說的說完,好嗎?
 
B: Oh, all right!
哦,好的!
 
Q: Because you see, I feel like it crushes her spirit – because she's an
expression totally different than me. I'm intellectual and intense, and
she's flighty and very mellow. And so it's interesting that this
combination is happening, right? I don't feel like I want to squelch her
expression but I feel like that's what I do, because I'm too intense. It's
like I'm always getting angry at her expression. And I'm trying to learn
about myself, I'm not blaming her, I'm just trying to learn about myself.
 
你也看到了,我覺得我好像擠壓著她的精神---因為她的情感表達方式跟我完全不同。
我是個刻板的知識分子,愛較真兒又富有熱情,而她反复無常可又溫柔醇美,非常有女人味。
所以,這一對兒能碰巧組合在一起是太有趣了,不是嗎? 我不覺得,我想去控制她的表達方式,
但我覺得,事實上一看,我就是在掌控她,因為我太較真兒了,我有自己特別強烈的意見看法。
好像,我總是會對她的表達方式很惱火。 所以現在,我正在努力的去審視我自己,我不指責她,
我只是,正在努力去審視我自己,了解我自己。
 
B: Yes. Yes.
對了,對了!
 
Q: And be a little more like a duck, and let the water go over my feathers.
有點像一隻鴨子,讓水重新清洗我的羽毛。
 
B: But in this way, being a duck does not mean that you do not stand up
for what you are. Now recognize, in this way, that anger is only judgment
of what is true for you, because you think that what is true for you should
not be true for you, with regard and in comparison to what you think is
true for someone else.
Anger is an alignment, and never needs to be experienced negatively. What
you are used to thinking of as anger never needs to be experienced that
way, if you allow it to be alignment. In other words, you see someone in
your life that you have attracted, and you recognize that their reality is
their reality, and that it is different from yours. And seeing their
reality allows you a stronger alignment with /your/ reality, with what you
know to be true for you. That /alignment/, in of itself, will never produce a
negative feeling. Judgment and resentment of that interaction is what
produces the anger.
You have been given an opportunity by that other individual to see what you
are aligned with, and what is true /for you/.
 
但是你說的這個方式,一隻鴨子並沒表明,你不站在"你是什麼"的基本信念立場上。
要認清,在你說的這個方式上, 憤怒髮火僅僅是評判,有關於對你來說---什麼是"真" ,
什麼是"實"的"評判",因為你所認定的對你來說"什麼是真的,什麼是實體性的",
對你來說你要認清它們並不是真和實的,用心觀察你認定的真實和其他人相比的不同。
 
憤怒髮火是一個調校對齊,永遠不必去以"有經驗的老資格"去消極的否定(他人)。
如果你允許它去調整對齊,你習慣視作"憤怒"的概念就永遠不必用那個憤怒的模式被經驗到。
換句話說,在你的生活中你已吸引並看到某個人,並且你認出,他們的現實實相是他們的現實實相,
而且它不同於你的現實實相。 於是當你參觀和領會著他們的現實實相,因此賦予你一個更強烈的
調校,使你於你的現實實相對齊成一直線,去校准你所確信的"什麼是真的,實體的"。
那個校準調整,內在它本身,永遠不會產生一個負面的消極的情感感受。
在那個互動和相互影響裡的---審判和不滿,憎惡---才真正產生憤怒。
 
你已被給予一個良機,通過與其他個體的那些互動,來審視你內在概念想法的匹配是什麼,
並且對你來說--你相信為"真",為"實體性"的是什麼。
 
Q: Okay, I feel like this is hitting home. So, a person gives you an opportunity to know where you stand.
好的,我有打中靶心的感覺。 所以,一個人帶給你一個好機會去領悟你看問題的立場在哪兒。
 
B: Yes.
對嘍~~!
 
Q: And so, say that person leaves the iron on all the time and, for me, I
see how important it is to turn off appliances – that's a simple thing.
因此來說,那個人為了我全天候身披鎧甲,我領悟到關閉我的電源是多重要了---這是個很簡單的事。
(一個人身披鎧甲,一個人火力全開,大戰就這麼開打了。)
 
B: Yes.
是啊。
 
Q: Okay. Once you get that, how can I let her expression be hers and know
where I stand without inflicting it on her?
好的。 一旦你面對那個情景,我如何能讓她展現她是她自己,並且領悟到我站在哪個立場上才不強加給她?
 
B: This very simple. Now, do remember that you can always discuss
something without needing the other person to change because you think they
are "less" than your idea. You can discuss it as an equal, in this way, and
simply share your expression of your understanding.
At the same time, recognize that when you are willing to acknowledge that
it is a reflection for you and an opportunity to be a reflection for them
equally, then, if you are "meant" to stay in the situation, you will. If it
is a reflection that you should part, then an opportunity will come along
for you to part. Do you follow me?
 
這非常簡單。 現在,去切記, 你可以總是商量探討某些事情,而不必去改變其他人。
因為你認為他們的觀念想法比你"差遠"了,不如你。
你可以一個平等的心態去探討商量這事情,
這樣,因此只是分享屬於你們各自觀念理解的表達,謀求一致同意。
 
於此同時,要弄清,當你在心甘情願的樂於去承認,這是一個給你的反射,
同時是一個良機去為他們作一個對等的反射,那時如果你是打算保持在那個情形裡,你會的。
如果它是一個你想岔開的反射,那麼隨後就會有個機會來讓你去岔開。
你跟上了嗎?
 
Q: So are you saying… like, how I'm trying to work with her ​​now is
seeing – by discussing things after the anger and all of that – is seeing
that her point is just as valid as mine. She's just coming from… she's a
different crystal, right?
 
那麼你是在說....比如,現在我正如此的努力和她一起工作是因為----
在經歷憤怒之後,對事情的探討商量以及諸如此類的---是因為她的指向是和我同等的,
她的觀念思想是和我同等的正當有效,等值的。
她只是源於....她是一個不同的意識結晶體,對吧?
 
B: Yes.
是的。
 
Q: And trying to understand that it's not that I have a better way, or a
more precise way – it's a different way.
於是努力去弄明白去理解,那不是說,我有一個更好的觀點和方式,
或者更正確的,更準確的觀點和方式---而是它根本是平等的,是來自於彼此不同的路徑。
 
B: Yes. For in this way, you are only making assumptions – although we
understand the idea you are discussing – you are only making assumptions
that what you think is going to be the result of her actions will be true.
And they may not be.
 
是的。 因此這樣一來,你只是在做" 假設 ",你只是在" 假定 "," 想當然 "----
儘管我們能理解你正在討論的想法--- 你只是在"假設"著 ,
你" 認定 了你的 假設 "是她的"所做所為", 會導致的 結果 ,並且你相信 那結果會是  "的。
但他們的結果 ,也許根本不是你所 假設的那樣。
 
Q: What do you mean?
你的意思是?
 
B: In other words, many times when you judge another individual, you are
only doing it based upon the assumption that you think that their actions
will lead to certain results – and they don't have to.
In other words, you are being given an opportunity to examine what results
might occur if /you/ took the action you are seeing them take. But not
necessarily an indication of what results will occur just because
/they/ performed the action.
 
換句話說吧,很多時候當你" 審判 "另一個個體的時候,
你僅僅是" 判定 "他們的"所作所為",將會導向某些" 必然 "的【負面】 結果 ,這結果你難以接受,
它僅僅是你的【想當然】---它完全是建立在你的【假設】上---
然而他們根本沒那個必然性,事情不一定是你所"假設的" 結果 。
 
再換個說法,你在觀察他們的"所作所為"時,你正被給予一個機會去檢查.....
如果你按照他們的方式去做的話,對你來說可能會出現什麼。
但是這不一定表明,會出現什麼必然的結果,
那隻是因為,那是他們的功能,那是他們的能力,
那隻是他們在扮演他們的角色,而不是你。
 
Q: Right, sometimes I think, "God, if I was in her shoes, I would have
been dead twenty years ago." (AUD: laughter) And for her that may be fine, but for me…
 
對啊,有時候我想,"天啊,如果我像她那麼活著,我早已經死了20年了。"(現場笑聲一片)
對她來說也許挺不錯啊,但對我來說.....
 
B: Yes.
是的。
 
Q: So then anger… okay, sometimes I want to be less angry because I find
that it hurts me to be so angry all the time.
所以說憤怒....好啦,有時我想少發火,因為我發現憤怒,全天候的火兒大,它也傷害了我自己。
 
B: That is because you judge the alignment. You will always be aligning.
You will always see reflections around you that will give you an
opportunity to align with what you know to be true for you. It is only the
judgment that creates the negative feeling.
 
那是因為你負面評判了這個"校準對齊"的概念。 你會始終在校準對正著。
你會始終看到你周圍的反射,並會帶給你一個良機去調整矯正---你所確信的---"真,實"是什麼。
產生【負面】感受,完全是因為"假設"的,"想當然"的【負面】評判所導致的。
 
Q: Isn't that where patience comes in?
這裡不需要來點忍耐嗎?
 
B: No.
不需要。
 
Q: Well, I mean you've said patience…
好吧,我的意思是說,你剛才說的忍耐.....
 
B: No. No.
不需要,不需要。
 
Q: Okay, well, you're aligning and centering yourself…
好的,嗯,你正在調教對齊矯正,並且將自己定在中心點上,居中,平衡....
 
B: EVERY SINGLE TIME you realize that you are being given an OPPORTUNITY
to align and integrate more and more of yourself, then it is such – at
least from /my/ point of view – an ECSTATIC experience that you do not need
patience. Because patience implies that you are waiting for something
better to come along. But what could be better than the ecstasy that you
are feeling in the moment of alignment?
 
每一時刻---你要認清,你正被給予一個良機去調校你自己,並且融合更多更多的你自己 ,
在這一點上,至少從我的視角來說是這樣的,你根本不必忍耐---那會是一個狂喜的體驗。
因為忍耐隱含著你暗示自己,你在等待什麼,你"想當然"的所謂的"好事"出現。
但還有什麼會比,你在那個時刻校準對正自己時,所感受到的狂喜,更好的呢?
 
Q: Well, do /you/ have anger?
那好吧,你會憤怒髮火嗎?
 
B: Not in a negative way, WE ALWAYS HAVE ALIGNMENT. But not anger, as you understand it.
不會在一個抵抗性的,抗拒的方式上,我們始終會調校對齊。 但不是你所理解的那個憤怒。
 
Q: Well… my alignment is expressed in a negative way.
那.....我的調校對齊是被在一個反抗性,抗拒的方式上被展現了。
 
B: That is because you are judging your alignment. Now, if you do not
PREFER to have it expressed in a negative way, you don't have to. You can
simply take it as the JOY and ECSTASY of being given the opportunity to
align and, therefore, RADIATE BACK your point of view, without judgment,
upon the other individual: JUST YOUR POINT OF VIEW.
 
那是因為你正在【 負面】 審判著你自己的調校對齊。
現在,如果你不喜歡以一個反抗,抗拒性的方式去展現它,你不必那麼做。
你可以單純的把它當做,被給予良機去調校對齊所帶來的快樂享受和狂喜,
所以,你的視角觀點輻射回來,
它沒有居高臨下對其他個體的審判:僅僅作為你個人觀點和視角。
 
Q: I'll try that. That's great, thank you. I mean… I know I said "try," but it's…
我會努力這麼做。 這真棒,謝謝你。
我的意思是....我明白我說"努力"的信念是負面的,但我不知道用什麼詞兒....
 
B: It is all right. We understand. Thank you.
沒關係,我們明白你的真正意思,謝謝你。
 
Q: Thanks.
謝謝。
 
————————————————————————————————————
版權所有:Bashar Channeled by Darryl Anka巴夏經由達里爾安卡傳送
原文出處:http://robertjrgraham.com/2010/11/15/anger-as-an-opportunity-for-alignment/
翻譯整理:冷靜投機(歡迎指正翻譯錯誤)
 
----------------------------
行政院文建會藝文部落格
http://blog.cca.gov.tw/blog/pilikang

沒有留言:

張貼留言

從不曾了解到 無條件的愛
才是至高無上的力量

Plurk

Facebook 名片